Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Part of the spiritual journey

We had an incredible weekend chuck full of friends and family! It did our souls a great deal of good. Thank you all for the increase of love and support. Shockingly still to my heart and mind, we were faced with the reality of the situation even on the weekend, but it came in a form that resulted in incredible strength and an increase of compassion; I was the subject of a Ward Fast! To be honest, I never wanted to be the subject of a Ward Fast because I didn’t want that type of attention, nor the emotional vulnerability. I was overwhelmed by the response and scared about being too emotional, so in a way, I was dreading going to church.

It was one of the most incredible experiences of my life. I walked into the church house, where I was sure the emotion would overwhelm my control (and scare my boys), only to find an absolute increase in strength—physically and emotionally! I sat through the Testimony meeting and stayed emotionally present through the entire process and for any of you that were there, you know how difficult that would have been, given the fact that my Justin got up and shared his testimony. He was so sweet and so powerful, I felt overwhelmed with the blessing of him in my life. I love him so much!

The blessings continued into Young Women’s, where all of these sweet girls dedicated their fast on our behalf. As I heard their little tummies rumbling, I loved them even more for their incredible sacrifice. We stood up to share the Young Women’s Theme, which I have been reciting for more than half my life, only to realize that it had taken on a whole new meaning. As the words, “We are daughters of a Heavenly Father who loves us and we love him. We will stand as witnesses of God at all times, and in all things, and in all places…” were repeated, I stood there and looked at these sweet girls, I was smacked by a reality that transcends time and space, I do love God and He loves me and I had a conscious decision to make, whether I would truly be His witness. I knew that I had not been diagnosed with cancer because He was mad or did not love me, I received the diagnosis to manifest His greatness through me! And, as I looked around that room, I knew that these little sisters of mine would have trials in their lives as well, that would test them, try them, and refine them. I have a fixed determination TO STAND during this process and have my life stand as a witness of His love and power. Thank you my dear Young Women for this insight!

The peace and strength continued on later that day when both sides of my family gathered in Pleasant View at Matt and Sandy’s home to break our Family Fast together. I nudged Justin as I looked around the room and saw the multiplicity of love (and bodies!). Tears welled up in both of our eyes as all of our nieces and nephews, brothers and sisters, moms and dads knelt down together as Ron, my dad-in-law offered up an incredibly powerful prayer to end our fast. I knew that I would be fine and I knew there would be difficulty ahead, but I knew that I was not going through this by chance. I knew that great blessings would arise from this situation. What a great blessing!

While visiting with our family, we also received a visit from Denise and her family, as Angie and Mark were dropping off toys and freezer meals. We are blessed people. We love you all!


  1. That was quite a sight to see everyone together like that....all of our sweet nieces, nephews, and our children kneeling together in prayer....that will be imprinted in my mind forever. You are precious to our family.

  2. Church on sunday was one of the best weeks of church I have ever been to! And not just for me but for my mom and my sister as well they are wanting to go more now. Which is great! We are all praying for you and your family.

    Love Thomas

  3. "Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither by thou dismayed; for the Lord thy God is with thee withersoever thou goest." Joshua 1:9
    If anyone is strong and of a good courage, it's you! Hugs to you - Aunt Deb