At the end of an incredibly long week, we got some good news from the CAT and bone scans. Before we left the hospital parking lot, Dr. Stinnett was calling to let us know that the CAT scan came back normal and then moments later, he called again and told us that the bone scan had also came back without concern. We all took a big breath in and were grateful.
I had never had a CAT scan or bone scan before and as I laid on the cold tables, I realized that I would be experiencing a lot of things that I have never experienced before. Tears rolled down my face as I recognized the life altering predicament that we had just found ourselves in. I choked back my tears as I realized that I needed to be following some very specific instructions and in fact, though I found myself completely alone in the room (the techs were safely behind a protective wall, which did not espouse a warm feeling:)!), those instructions were the things that guided me through. My mind jumped forward and I knew that, just like the instructions on those cold tables, I have also received some "instructions" for making it through tough times in life and those instructions would also guide me through. I am so appreciative that I know that I am not alone on the "cold table of cancer", I have felt the love and prayers of many and know that Jesus Christ suffered for the pain that I was now experiencing. I felt reassured that I would be just fine!
I know that I have pain ahead, but I also have the knowledge that I will experience the opposite of that pain...imagine that joy! I am grateful for this experience and though I am crying a lot more than I usually do...OK I am crying more now than at any other time in my life, I am also feeling more love and support, and on really hard days that is just what I need.
Thank you all for the outpouring of love and support. Your thoughts and prayers are making a profound difference. I will love you forever and be grateful even longer.
As hard as it has been to accept for us to hear the news, it has become a reality that were are accepting...It does not mean that we have to be happy about it or take it lying down. This is just not supposed to happen to such a wonderful person, as everyone knows Becky does everything for everyone else and would give you the shirt off of her back if you needed it. We will all work through this together and this just give us all the more reasons to become closer:) When I think of Becky, the first thought that comes to my mind is MY PARTNER IN CRIME!!! and then 1000's of more thoughts pour in. From growing up in the same room; having to jump from her top bunk to the dresser and out the door to get out of our room because I was a little bit messier than she was(according to her:)) she would come up with games like cutting our room in half and her half just happened to have the door to get out of the room, to giving me a penny for each thing that I picked up, to even being robots that cleaned up ( I'm sure that anyone that knows Becky could never guess that she would be this way about cleaning haha!!), sneaking out very early on x-mas morning to check who the presents were for by the light of the nightlight, spitting in my face from the top bunk, SANTA CLAUS pictures, lots of early morning practices of all kinds, pitching and catching practice with crazy chickens chasing us, trying to back up the car without running it through the fence and green house, getting kicked out of early morning basketball practice together because we were being to competitive with each other, singing concerts at SUU with all of her friends, road trips to places like East Canyon that went a few miles out of the way haha!!, to having Brock sign a contract with a crayola crayon as soon as he could write his name saying that he would give her a portion of his earnings when he made it to the NBA, to having little boys just 4 months apart, many, many cake projects and tonz and tonz and tonz more. I could fill an endless amout of pages with our stories:) That will be a fun project that maybe we can do during this whole ordeal. The memories that I cherish the most though are the ones of her always being there for me and my family, I mean she is my big sister and all but she just always goes above and beyond BIG SISTER duties she always has and I know always will but right now it is time for us to switch roles, it is now my turn to be there for her to lean on when she needs someone, to do everything and anything that I can for her to help her through this sad and hard time. She is just such a strong person and if anyone can make it through this I know that she can, but BECKY just remember to let everyone that loves you also help you it will only help you to recover sooner. This is the time that you are going to need to be selfish and think of yourself above others it will just help you to recover sooner... Words could never say how much I cherish you, Justin and your boys so I guess that I should stop rambling... I just want you to know how much I love you. Blaine, the kids and I are here for anything that you and your family may need...
ReplyDeleteLuv you now and Forever,
your little sis Bren
so glad for the clear CAT and bone scans. Been thinking about you guys tons this weekend and hoping we can work out soon when I can come up to get that "before picture". And P.S., we are totally taking advantage of what Janet owes you...Remember when we had to bathe her...Yeah, in Boston..Mmmhmm.
ReplyDeleteHey, that is great news about the SCANS. This calls for some pudding pie. I'll call to set up the free-for-all spoon fest in yummy sea of pudding. You're the best. Keep the Faith.
ReplyDeleteLove the Fishes