When Lisa, the ‘Cancer Killing’ nurse brought out the brilliantly red syringes this last Thursday, my stomach turned as I knew what was in store for the next few days. This particular medication causes the nausea, hair-loss, fatigue, and other side-effects that are the unwelcomed companions to fighting this disease. Interestingly, this medication is administered by “pushing” the drug into my veins. If the drug accidently leaks out of the vein, it will cause permanent damage to the tissue. These facts make me even more grateful for the truly gifted medical staff that we have working with us. I am cognizant of the fact that it is a real blessing when someone is doing what they were made to do. The staff at Utah Cancer Specialists, Dr. Stinnett, Lisa, Nicole, and Jennifer are passionate about what they are doing and make a difficult situation far easier.
I am grateful for the Doxorubicin and its ability to seek out and destroy the mutating cells, as I am grateful that this trial is seeking out and destroying my pride! It would be nice if the destruction of the pride did not include my hair and stomach contents, but…It is what it is!
A couple of weeks ago, a friend talked about a ‘For Sale’ sign on a house in the neighborhood. We giggled at the implication, “REMODELED…I’m GORGEOUS INSIDE”, and I have thought a lot about the bigger plan for you and me. God doesn’t care what we look like on the outside, nor is he preoccupied with our comfort, instead a perfect being cares what is happening on the inside. He is mindful of who we are becoming. Are we using our life circumstances to ‘remodel’ us from the inside out? Do we like who we are becoming? Are we gorgeous on the inside?