Friday, March 19, 2010

Hope Springs!

On Wednesday afternoon, the boys and I went outside to enjoy the beautiful weather. We hit baseballs, rode bikes, and even pruned the roses. We were all feeling terrific, that is all but Justin. He came home from a long day at work feeling super sick and had an extremely sore throat. Needless to say, he would not get anywhere around me and headed off for the doctor early Wednesday morning. When he drug himself home, he had received the big antibiotic shot with the consistency of peanut butter and was diagnosed with strep throat. We tried to stay clear of him for the rest of the day.

Despite Justin’s illness, we were sufficiently propelled headlong into Spring Fever and were ready for the cold weather to be behind us for a while. It seemed so appropriate that my nausea for this round of Chemo had left on the same day that we hit 60 degrees for the first day of the year! It may also be important to know that since we found out about the cancer, we have stopped watching the news…I guess our life was news enough, so we did not know that the temperature would be dropping again and that the weathermen were forecasting snow.

Imagine our shock to wake up the next morning to a 20 degree drop in the temperature and the despair of the cold creeping back into our life. I felt such a drop in my mood and I let the scary thoughts of this cancer sneak into my mind. I felt sad, and realized that this situation with cancer seemed as unending and cold as the winter weather!

A few hours into this downswing, my mom came over and started to pull the blinds in the house and said that someone had called and asked her to keep me away from the yard because they wanted to brighten my day. I smiled as I thought about the prayer I had offered earlier to have some relief from the bleakness that had hit in our lives. I had no idea what to expect and no idea who to thank (my mom would, under no circumstance, tell me who had called).

We waited to go outside until Justin came home from work and he had the biggest smile on his face when he said, “Nice daffodils!” I excitedly went outside and to my absolute and utter surprise; I walked into a sea of daffodils. I almost felt like I couldn’t breathe as I reflected on the reality behind this anonymous act. Please understand, there were ten dozen cut daffodils, each put in their own vile of water, placed in a bag with dirt in the bottom and tied with a pink ribbon. This was not only an absolute act of charity and answer to prayer, but of a lot of work and effort.

My heart soared! My eyes filled with tears and I felt overwhelmed with God’s love through the act of someone else. I couldn’t stop crying as I walked up our walkway and thought about the sweet hands and hearts that had created this little miracle for my family. Spring had definitely come in full bloom; hope had come into full bloom on that cold afternoon. I felt the sunlight of hope beam through the sadness and I knew that this situation would end just as God designed it to and I felt an increased trust in that reality.

I still do not know who answered that feeble prayer of mine; who brought Heavenly Father’s love right to the walkway of my home, but I do know that they will be blessed for their quiet act openly by a loving Father (Matthew 6:6). I also know the power of remaining positive and fostering the power of hope in our lives. Thank you, thank you to whoever you are for reminding me of this soul saving truth!

Love Forever,


The adversary uses despair to bind hearts and minds in suffocating darkness. Despair drains from us all that is vibrant and joyful and leaves behind the empty remnants of what life was meant to be. Despair kills ambition, advances sickness, pollutes the soul, and deadens the heart. Despair can seem like a staircase that leads only and forever downward.

Hope, on the other hand, is like the beam of sunlight rising up and above the horizon of our present circumstances. It pierces the darkness with a brilliant dawn. It encourages and inspires us to place our trust in the loving care of an eternal Heavenly Father, who has prepared a way for those who seek for eternal truth in a world of relativism, confusion, and of fear.

President Dieter F. Uchtdorf, The Infinite Power of Hope

'Mom's Heart' moment:  When Justin got home from the doctor and was sleeping, Eli climbed up into my lap and asked, "Does dad have bad cells now?" (that is what he calls the cancer).  I just held him tight and told him that his dad would feel a lot better tomorrow and that he did not have 'bad cells'!  He seemed relieved and kissed me on the cheek and said, "How are your good cells?!".  Thank you my little boy.

1 comment:

  1. I want to reach into that picture of E and squeeze those cute cheeks!