Monday, April 5, 2010


I have escaped most of the common side effects tied to the Chemotherapy so far and feel extremely blessed. There is, however, one not so common side effect to the Doxorubicin that has hit and sparked some thoughts for me. The side effect is burning and pain in my hands! It is difficult to describe except by saying that it feels like the Chemo is coming out through my hands and they have been burnt in the process. It feels like I have blisters in the cracks and folds of my hands, and swelling throughout. This pain has become progressively more intense, making it difficult to bend my fingers or clasp items.

As has been the case with this entire journey with cancer, my mind has been caught up in a greater meaning behind the pain. With an increase of focus on my hands, it draws my mind out to another set of hands and especially during this Easter time, I wanted to express some of my thoughts about Christ and what He chose to do with His hands.

There is a song entitled, “His Hands” by Kenneth Cope and the lyrics are perfect for the thoughts that I been forming in my mind:
                                                      His hands
                                                 Tools of creation
Stronger than nations
Power without end
And yet through them
We find our truest friend.
His hands
Sermons of kindness
Healing man’s blindness

Halting years of pain
Children waiting to be held again.
His hands
Lifting a leper
Warming a beggar
Calling back the dead

Breaking bread
Five thousand fed

His hands
Hushing contention
Pointing to Heaven

Ever free of sin
Then bidding man
To follow Him
His hands would serve His whole life through
Showing man what he might do
Giving, ever giving endlessly.
Each day was filled with selflessness
And I’ll not rest
‘Til I make of my hands what they could be
‘Til these hands become like those from Galilee
His hands
Clasp in agony
As he lay pleading
Bleeding in the garden

While just moments away
Other hands betray Him out of greed

Shameful greed
And then His hands
Are trembling
Straining to carry
The beam that they’d been nailed to
As He stumbles through the streets
Heading for the hill
On which He’d die
He would die

They take His hands
His mighty hands
Those gentle hands
And then they pierce them
They pierce them
He lets them
Because of love
From birth to death
Was selflessness
And clearly now

I see Him with His hands calling to me
And though I’m not yet as I would be
He has shown me how I could be
I will make my hands like those from Galilee.

So, at the end of the day, hands hurting or heart hurting, I am grateful for the reminder of Christ’s perfect hands and the fact that He chose to love and serve with His hands. I hope and pray that I can follow His example and serve those who are in need (Deut. 15:7-8, 11; Psalms 63:4).

I am so excited to report that the proliferation of ‘Anything for a Friend’ is at hand and it is clear that God does indeed ‘turn all things for your good’ (Doctrine and Covenants 98:3.) I am grateful to be part of something so wonderful; something that will serve and bring relief to countless families. This is an incredible blessing and I thank Heavenly Father for the insight that Brenda and Denise have received throughout this process in bringing this concept to life. They are truly powerful women in HIS HANDS (Mosiah 23:10)!

I know the pain and burning in my hands will eventually subside, but I hope to never lose the feeling that has been created and the reliance that I have formed on my Heavenly Father. It is worth all the pain because I know it is not in vain.

Mormon 5:23: Know ye not that ye are in the hands of God? Know ye not that he hath all power…?

'Mom's Heart' moment: On Saturday night we were talking with the boys about the true meaning of the Easter celebration; showing pictures of Christ and talking about what he did for us, when Eli's eyes got brighter and bigger than usual and he turned to Justin and said, "Dad, do you have Jesus' phone number?"  (The antecedent to his question being his memorization of his grandma's numbers ).

Justin smiled and said, "Yes I do!"  Eli was even more intrigued as Justin went on, "it's called prayer."

I felt grateful for the insight and the fact that Justin jumped on this teaching moment, when Eli burst into uncontrolled laughter...We'll have to continue teaching powerful concepts...over and over!


  1. Wow I love that song! And you know that both of us are touched so tenderly by music! So as I read the song I tried to choke back my tears while reading it at work but tears flowed. I could hear the song in my head! What an amazing song! What a wonderful example he is! Serving others with those amazing hands! And now having 'Anything for a Friend' will be a wonderful avenue for so many people to serve with their hearts and hands to those families in need! You are such an incredible person Becky and I look up to you so much! Your hands have already served so many people including me! So thank You so much for that! With all my love!


  2. I am inspired by your example of faith and love! I think and pray for you and your family often.

    With Love - Jess