Hands

I have escaped most of the common side effects tied to the Chemotherapy so far and feel extremely blessed. There is, however, one not so common side effect to the Doxorubicin that has hit and sparked some thoughts for me. The side effect is burning and pain in my hands! It is difficult to describe except by saying that it feels like the Chemo is coming out through my hands and they have been burnt in the process. It feels like I have blisters in the cracks and folds of my hands, and swelling throughout. This pain has become progressively more intense, making it difficult to bend my fingers or clasp items.

As has been the case with this entire journey with cancer, my mind has been caught up in a greater meaning behind the pain. With an increase of focus on my hands, it draws my mind out to another set of hands and especially during this Easter time, I wanted to express some of my thoughts about Christ and what He chose to do with His hands.

There is a song entitled, “His Hands” by Kenneth Cope and the lyrics are perfect for the thoughts that I been forming in my mind:

                                                      His hands

                                                 Tools of creation

Stronger than nations

Power without end

And yet through them

We find our truest friend.

His hands

Sermons of kindness

Healing man’s blindness

Halting years of pain

Children waiting to be held again.

His hands

Lifting a leper

Warming a beggar
Calling back the dead

Breaking bread

Five thousand fed

His hands

Hushing contention

Pointing to Heaven

Ever free of sin

Then bidding man

To follow Him

His hands would serve His whole life through

Showing man what he might do

Giving, ever giving endlessly.

Each day was filled with selflessness

And I’ll not rest

‘Til I make of my hands what they could be

‘Til these hands become like those from Galilee

His hands

Clasp in agony

As he lay pleading

Bleeding in the garden

While just moments away

Other hands betray Him out of greed

Shameful greed

And then His hands

Are trembling

Straining to carry

The beam that they’d been nailed to

As He stumbles through the streets

Heading for the hill

On which He’d die

He would die

They take His hands

His mighty hands

Those gentle hands

And then they pierce them

They pierce them

He lets them

Because of love

From birth to death

Was selflessness

And clearly now

I see Him with His hands calling to me
And though I’m not yet as I would be

He has shown me how I could be

I will make my hands like those from Galilee.

So, at the end of the day, hands hurting or heart hurting, I am grateful for the reminder of Christ’s perfect hands and the fact that He chose to love and serve with His hands. I hope and pray that I can follow His example and serve those who are in need (Deut. 15:7-8, 11; Psalms 63:4).

I am so excited to report that the proliferation of ‘Anything for a Friend’ is at hand and it is clear that God does indeed ‘turn all things for your good’ (Doctrine and Covenants 98:3.) I am grateful to be part of something so wonderful; something that will serve and bring relief to countless families. This is an incredible blessing and I thank Heavenly Father for the insight that Brenda and Denise have received throughout this process in bringing this concept to life. They are truly powerful women in HIS HANDS (Mosiah 23:10)!

I know the pain and burning in my hands will eventually subside, but I hope to never lose the feeling that has been created and the reliance that I have formed on my Heavenly Father. It is worth all the pain because I know it is not in vain.

Mormon 5:23: Know ye not that ye are in the hands of God? Know ye not that he hath all power…?

'Mom's Heart' moment: On Saturday night we were talking with the boys about the true meaning of the Easter celebration; showing pictures of Christ and talking about what he did for us, when Eli's eyes got brighter and bigger than usual and he turned to Justin and said, "Dad, do you have Jesus' phone number?"  (The antecedent to his question being his memorization of his grandma's numbers ).


Justin smiled and said, "Yes I do!"  Eli was even more intrigued as Justin went on, "it's called prayer."


I felt grateful for the insight and the fact that Justin jumped on this teaching moment, when Eli burst into uncontrolled laughter...We'll have to continue teaching powerful concepts...over and over!