April Showers, bring…

This last week brought with it an interesting weather pattern. We went from 80 degrees one day to 35 degrees the next. The warmth of the 80 degree days sparked my tulips to open their pretty petals and say hello to the spring. They welcomed the tenderness of the warm weather for almost two whole days, smiling and fully open to the entire world, and then came the cold “wake up” call of the 35 degrees. That blast of cold came with a furious wind, slanted rain, and finally snow and hail.

I was watching the weather pattern and it’s devastation from the warmth of a friend’s home, when to my shock, I saw a bird battling its way up through the wind whipping on the ground. I continued to watch with interest and concern and was so happily surprised to see the bird, through a lot of hard work, use the power of the wind to glide in place and rest its wings. I couldn’t believe that this seemingly powerless creation had fought through the uncontrollable elements and found a place of peace and rest.

I kept watching the wise bird and my mind was caught up. I pondered some thoughts about my family’s current situation. Much like the plight of the tulips, just prior to the cancer diagnosis, I was enjoying the peace and warmth of a pretty darn easy life; I was not being tested in any arena and I was not complaining! When the storm of life hit, I stayed on the ground with the whipping wind for some time and tried to pull my petals in tightly, but quickly realized that as tight as tried to pull in, the cancer storm was still pulling and thrashing, and I felt like I was losing part of me, as the tulips had lost some of their petals.

Then, as tender mercies go, the Lord helped me to see things more clearly with the help of Justin, my family, and my friends. They were the “little bird” flying up through the wind and I realized that I could chose to fly instead of stay on the ground and be beat up by this situation. I could see that my loved ones were finding rest in the storm by being active and I needed that peace. Justin was actively finding the best doctors, while Brenda and Denise were already talking about the things they would be doing in support. Like shaving their heads!

I still could not figure out how I was going to find peace, so I prayed! And, just like the Nephites in the book of Alma (Alma 58:10-12), I was overwhelmed by my circumstance and prayed that I would be strengthened and delivered from the enemy that had come upon me. And, much like the Nephites, the “enemy” was not removed from me, but I was visited with assurances and peace, and I had an increase of faith and hope that I was not in this by chance. These people though their circumstance had not changed, took courage and were fixed with a determination to conquer their enemies and went on to fight and overcome the insurmountable. They beat the odds through faith in the Lord.

I know that all of us have, have had, or will have situations in our lives where we must find a way to fight our way up off from the ground and use the power in a positive way to give us some rest and perspective. It is fully within our grasp to find peace, assurances, and faith in the middle of the storms that are inherent in life. I hope that we can all be strong enough to battle the opposing reality; the reality that would have us remain on the ground, hunkered down, closed, and beat up. Because when we are listening to the opposition, we will never be able to be refined and renewed, and uncover the special mission that we are here to accomplish.

May we all choose to fly into the storm…that the “April showers” in our lives will bring about beautiful flowers!

“As the tree is fertilized by its own broken branches and fallen leaves, and grows out of its own decay, so men and nations are bettered and improved by trial, and refined out of broken hopes and blighted expectations.”

-Frederick William Robertson (1816-1853)

Love,

Becky

‘Mom’s Heart’ Moment: By way of background, Eli has been extremely concerned about the burning in my hands and my hair not growing back. He continues to be concerned about my hands as they are now peeling in consequence to the burning and he wonders, out loud, “Are your hands going to keep chipping to the bone?” I assure him that they will not but I am always amazed at the way little minds take in big stuff.

Consequently, Eli was playing Play dough with some friends. It was a big octopus and the Play dough was pushed through the holes to create arms and hair. I overheard him plea with his friends, “Hurray, hurray we have to make it have hair before if dies…You guys, come on it needs new hands or it will die!” The boys went on playing and I quickly went down stairs with tears in my eyes. It is very difficult to see my boys hurting and not have the power to make it better!